Toxin In a Tux :: David Krejci

Toxin In a Tux Krejci

When did he get so bad at this?
His brain is made of mush
Trying to be Dickens
Ends up being Bush

He go out thinking he will
Dream and levitate
Only seem to end up
With a commanding hate

Eight ball in a pocket
Foe without a friend
Who never grew to understand
The blender never blend

Pretending to be merciful
Like when you’re huffing paint
But is it not as simple
As knowing when to faint?

His head is shooting pictures
Of a madly sordid face
Making sure he demonize
At a speedy pace

He wishes to solicit
A story from a pearl
It’d serve us well to understand
When you tilt he whirl

It wages on within him
The war paint and the wit
Honest as a toxin
In a tux that doesn’t fit

Why did he get so bad at this?
The hatter in a hoop
The Nicholson of negative
The Gorey in a coop

The dipshit is in season
The Kaiser is unclad saying
Am I, or you?
(Oh, why are you?)
Either I …or you are mad

Seven Less Fingers :: David Krejci

artwork by matt kiss

Cover art by Matt Kish

Seven Less Fingers

Recorded @ Albatross Studios, 2010-11 by Mike Wisti © Cleophone Records 2009
Seven Less Fingers
Songs by David Krejci
David Krejci: Vocals, Piano, Organ, Guitar, Cleophone, Violin
Rich Waryan: String bass, Cello, Viola
Karen Krueger: Violin, Viola, Hardinger
Steven Clay: Tuba
Mike Wisti: Trumpet
Teri Firkins: Background Vocals
John Crist: Drums
Martin Wolfe: Percussion
Andy Novak: Percussion
Morris Engle: Orchestral Snare
Nick Larsen: Drums [Processional]

Cover art by Matt Kish

VINYL: $15




The Animal Crackers :: David Krejci

Animal Crackers Krejci

Seven Less Fingers

I’ve been looking down, around ’round ’round
for a mighty, mighty place where nobody puts nobody down
Where angels are like shoes, you can spit to see them shine
Everybody has an uncle akin to Robert Quine

The fat-hearted ladies are running up the score
Nobody’s trying to barricade the door
Mario is President with a turtle and a twin
The Gong Show is televised and so is Gunga Din

Where every little girl never heard life is hard
Nobody’s nothing brings the boyz to the yard
A halo on the haze of every addled boy
Who didn’t know Madonna when she was a toy

Envy is unusable, a charlatan, a Cher
Charles Nelson Reilly marries Fred Astaire
Nobody has to live inside a Mason jar
Nobody has to fall in love … they already are

The Animal Crackers don’t live at the zoo
They live among me, they live among you
I wonder if it is the proper thing to do
to break’m up, break’m up and then begin to chew?

Nobody’s pigeon-toed, nobody calls nobody “pet”
People think you’re Latin when you say “regret”
Everybody has a crow for a lover and a friend
Nobody has a heart or bone that’s ever on the mend

I’ve been looking down, around ’round round
for a mighty, mighty place where nobody puts nobody down
Where angels are like shoes, you can spit to see them shine
Everybody has an uncle akin to Robert Quine

The Animal Crackers don’t live at the zoo
They live among me, they live among you
I wonder if it is the proper thing to do
to break’m up, break’m up and then begin to chew?

Pair’m up, tear’m up, make’m into glue?

Shut’m up, cut’m up and make’m in to stew?

Scare’m out, wear’m out, take’m to the zoo?

Or are the Animal Crackers you and me, too?

The Windsor Chop – David Krejci

The-Windsor-Chop-by-David-Krejci

Seven Less Fingers

I know a place with pig patrol hiding swine without parole
To find it, go to heaven and dig a deep hole

It’s an Upton Sinclair Lewis town. A Jungle on Main Street with many a frown.
Where they put good people down

Can’t tell some people from a pig. Pile them tight in a metal rig.
Raise your cross and dance a jig.

One will grunt at the Country Club 99 at the Tiki Pub
Therein dies the rub

There’s a fire in Austin
Made of one part Jesus, two part gin
Somebody ran off with Rin Tin Tin
And there’s never any next of kin

They eat our neighbors with a plastic fork.
Drink our wine. Eat the cork.
Sometimes for fun they shoot the stork.

Let’s juxtapose what’s your’s and mine
One more time: pigs and swine
Do you prefer to hunt or dine?

How can I love what I hate? I can’t seem to separate church and state.
Things don’t come to those who wait.

So pack your meat in a stolen car. Borrow some warmth from the Northern Star.
I’ll hide my soul in a cookie jar.

Marionette :: David Krejci

Marionette - David Krejci

Seven Less Fingers

I am your marionette with a hook in my spine
You can not bury my yet, I am to undivine
With an air of resignation I follow my strings up to you
My custom has always been to follow you true

Easy to make, so fun to use
My Marionette

The logical outcomes of your convictions are gray
You tangle my twine while hoping that I can still play
I am your marionette with a pin in his heart
You choose to carry me yet, you tore me apart

Easy to make, so fun to use
My Marionette

From limb to limb I feel amazingly droll
I stagger and trip yet you laugh irrevocably whole
My boots are uncertain, my ruinous head is all wrong
You keep my dancing to a tune that isn’t a song

Easy to make, so fun to use
My Marionette

Barry Manilow Is Dead :: David Krejci

Barry Manilow is Dead

zsa zsa gabor is 95
(yes she’s still alive)
and i think i know her better than me

than me
than me
i think i know her better than me

even billy graham
at 94
who underscores the meaning of jesus and the whore

i think i understand
him better
(though i dont think that i’ll send him
a love letter)

like I did to patty andrews* who’s 94 too
i understand her well
cuz she sings of love too

Barry manilow is dead
i heard it said
but then i heard it wasn’t true

is it odd that i was sad
i was sad
when i thought that barry manilow was dead?

cuz he didn’t write the songs
that make the whole world sing
it was a guy named bruce
(not springsteen)

he just sang it
he just sang it
he didnt write the song he just sang it

when i was a little boy
i loved to watch
american bandstand
with nine years of joy

i knew Barry wrote the theme song
but i also knew
that he didnt write the song he said he did

he just sang it
he just sang it
he didnt write the song he just sang it

no one ever seems to write
the song the said they did
nobody every seems to love
like they were a kid

they just sing it, they just sing it
no body ever seems to love
they just sing it

* sadly, she is now dead. but she wasn’t when the song was written.

Did He Just Go Mad? – David Krejci

Did He Just Go Mad - David Krejci

Seven Less Fingers

You ever looked for birds but couldn’t find a nest?
Ever hunted for treasure but couldn’t find a chest?
Have you searched for a coat but couldn’t find a thread?
Ever called out for Jesus but got silence instead?

Are you among the happy or the sad?
Did god give you christmas or did you just go mad?

You ever sought out Cupid, but soon got bored?
Ever tried to sing a song, but couldn’t find a chord?
Have you looked for the sea, but couldn’t find the sand?
Ever searched for a soul, but couldn’t find a hand?

Are you among the happy or the sad?
Did god give you christmas or did you just go mad?

Have you search for Cyrano, but couldn’t find a nose?
Have you called up Allison, but got only Mose?
Ever prayed for a Home, but couldn’t find a chair?
Ever tried to find love when it was lying right there?

Are you among the happy or the sad?
Did god give you christmas or did you just go mad?

Bow! – David Krejci

Bow! - David Krejci

Seven Less Fingers

I saw a guy, I liked him a lot
He’s the sun in every sun spot
He looked just like a king lying in a cot
And he’s not, he’s not anybody
He’s not any body

I know this girl, she’s a killer in a box
She’s got the power of scotch on the rocks
And she sings like the water underneath the docks
Cuz she’s not, she’s not anybody
She’s not any body

I need a fairy apothecary. Something better than a spoon and a cherry
Maybe an ape, or a complicated Snape
I do so much better when I can’t find my cape

I like everybody, even the fool
I can swim in anybody’s pool
And if you ask me why I think you’re cool it’s cuz yer not.
You’re not anybody. You’re not any body.

Choke-A-Cola – David Krejci

Chokeacola - David Krejci

Seven Less Fingers

A little chokeacola is my favorite drink
I love to spend my evenings on the bright side of the brink
The pillowcase is scented, the sugar so invented
Such a funny way to keep your nose to the floor

An ounce of you and then I’m done
Just thinking ’bout you baby is half the fun
The way you kick your shoes, I would gladly pay my dues
You’re fizzle and your sweet and you’re so fun to pour

My little chokeacola, my rainy day Dear
Oh how I wish you we’re here
My Soho soul, my pretty pink coal
I don’t need you. You don’t need me.
But how I love how we need we

My little chokeacola has a cocaine stare
A fear of falling and purple hair
I, a taste for plastic, and everything fantastic
When it’s three a.m. I’m William Shakespeare

Let’s take a walk down Mulberry Street
I know it’s March, but I can feel the heat
I’m a mediocre Ford, but I can silence any chord
My cotton may be rotten but my candy is queer

My little chokeacola, my rainy day Dear
Oh how I wish you we’re here
My so whole soul, my pretty pink coal
I don’t need you. You don’t need me.
But how I love how we need we

A little choke-a-cola is my favorite drink
I love to spend my evening on the bright side of the brink …

It’s a Very Funny Day :: David Krejci

It's a Very Funny Day - David Krejci

Seven Less Fingers

Celebration of a massacre. The hocus pocus of a downtown blur.
It’s true, it’s true, it’s true, it’s a very funny day.

Spare ribs and a broken car. Why do I sit upon this star?
It’s true, it’s true, it’s true, it’s a very funny day.

Call me a fuse, I don’t mean to fight.
Bury all the bodies by no moon light.
Hope the bark don’t mean no bite.
You can’t get high without a kite.

Wanna tell the world that one is two.
Nobody can know it’s true.
I hate, I loathe, I despise a very funny day.

Wanna join me on this stage? Have to join me in my rage.
I love, I love, I love a very funny day.

Call me a fuse, I don’t mean to fight.
Bury all the bodies by no moon light.
Hope the bark don’t mean no bite.
You can’t get high without a kite.

If I Give You Twenty Dollars :: David Krejci

If I Give You Twenty Dollars - David Krejci

Seven Less Fingers

If I give you 20 dollars would you break my heart right now?
I know you’re gonna do it anyhow
So let’s get it over, over right now
If I give you 20 dollars would you break my heart right now?

Seven Less Fingers

If I give you 30 dollars would you do it nice and clean?
It’s taken so much less to be more than mean
So let’s get it over, over right now
If I give you 30 dollars would you do it nice and clean?

Seven Less Fingers

If I give you 40 dollars would you buy me a fair-thee-well?
You can go to the mall and I can go to Hell
So let’s get it over, over right now
If I give you 40 dollars would you buy me a fair-thee-well

Seven Less Fingers

Well, wait a minute, baby. I only gotta dollar bill
Guess I’m gonna have to wait for me to buy my thrill
We can’t get it over, gonna have to wait
I said I can’t get it over, I’m gonna be late
No we can’t get it over, so how bout a date?

Seven Less Fingers

Or, maybe tomorrow, I give you 20 dollars and you break my heart right now?

Banfield Bomber :: David Krejci

Banfield Bomber - David Krejci

Seven Less Fingers

Rubber bands, #2 pencils
Crepe paper and a lot of glue
Dirty looks, dirty lockers
Lots of linoleum to slip up on you

Lunch ladies with monkey fingers
Orange soda and million things in piles
Galileo, Leather Tuscadero
The sun through the window eclipsed by your smile

The music teacher, the shaky Miss Shirva
Said ‘button your lips and walk in single file’
My lips are now frozen and I did file for single
Still I’ve seen nothing like the sun done in by your smile