I’ve been looking down, around ’round ’round
for a mighty, mighty place where nobody puts nobody down
Where angels are like shoes, you can spit to see them shine
Everybody has an uncle akin to Robert Quine

The fat-hearted ladies are running up the score
Nobody’s trying to barricade the door
Mario is President with a turtle and a twin
The Gong Show is televised and so is Gunga Din

Where every little girl never heard life is hard
Nobody’s nothing brings the boyz to the yard
A halo on the haze of every addled boy
Who didn’t know Madonna when she was a toy

Envy is unusable, a charlatan, a Cher
Charles Nelson Reilly marries Fred Astaire
Nobody has to live inside a Mason jar
Nobody has to fall in love … they already are

The Animal Crackers don’t live at the zoo
They live among me, they live among you
I wonder if it is the proper thing to do
to break’m up, break’m up and then begin to chew?

Nobody’s pigeon-toed, nobody calls nobody “pet”
People think you’re Latin when you say “regret”
Everybody has a crow for a lover and a friend
Nobody has a heart or bone that’s ever on the mend

I’ve been looking down, around ’round round
for a mighty, mighty place where nobody puts nobody down
Where angels are like shoes, you can spit to see them shine
Everybody has an uncle akin to Robert Quine

The Animal Crackers don’t live at the zoo
They live among me, they live among you
I wonder if it is the proper thing to do
to break’m up, break’m up and then begin to chew?

Pair’m up, tear’m up, make’m into glue?

Shut’m up, cut’m up and make’m in to stew?

Scare’m out, wear’m out, take’m to the zoo?

Or are the Animal Crackers you and me, too?

I know a place with pig patrol hiding swine without parole
To find it, go to heaven and dig a deep hole

It’s an Upton Sinclair Lewis town. A Jungle on Main Street with many a frown.
Where they put good people down

Can’t tell some people from apig. Pile them tight in a metal rig.
Raise your cross and dance a jig.

One will grunt at the country club 99 at the Tiki Pub
Therein dies the rub

There’s a fire in Austin
Made of one part Jesus, two part gin
Somebody ran off with RinTinTin
And there’s never any next of kin

They eat our neighbors with a plastic fork.
Drink our wine. Eat the cork.
Sometimes for fun they shoot the stork.

Let’s juxtapose what’s your’s and mine
One more time: pigs and swine
Do you prefer to hunt or dine?

How can I love what I hate? I can’t seem to separate church and state.
Things don’t come to those who wait.

So pack your meat in a stolen car. Borrow some warmth from the Northern Star.
I’ll hide my soul in a cookie jar.

You ever looked for birds but couldn’t find a nest?
Ever hunted for treasure but couldn’t find a chest?
Have you searched for a coat but couldn’t find a thread?
Ever called out for Jesus but got silence instead?

Are you among the happy or the sad?
Did god give you christmas or did you just go mad?

You ever sought out Cupid, but soon got bored?
Ever tried to sing a song, but couldn’t find a chord?
Have you looked for the sea, but couldn’t find the sand?
Ever searched for a soul, but couldn’t find a hand?

Are you among the happy or the sad?
Did god give you christmas or did you just go mad?

Have you search for Cyrano, but couldn’t find a nose?
Have you called up Allison, but got only Mose?
Ever prayed for a Home, but couldn’t find a chair?
Ever tried to find love when it was lying right there?

Are you among the happy or the sad?
Did god give you christmas or did you just go mad?

There are no lyrics to report.

I saw a guy, I liked him a lot
He’s the sun in every sun spot
He looked just like a king lying in a cot
And he’s not, he’s not anybody
He’s not any body

I know this girl, she’s a killer in a box
She’s got the power of scotch on the rocks
And she sings like the water underneath the docks
Cuz she’s not, she’s not anybody
She’s not any body

I need a fairy apothecary. Something better than a spoon and a cherry
Maybe an ape, or a complicated Snape
I do so much better when I can’t find my cape

I like everybody, even the fool
I can swim in anybody’s pool
And if you ask me why I think you’re cool it’s cuz yer not.
You’re not anybody. You’re not any body.

There are no words to report.

Mellow yellow, they never call me
I’m the fellow that you can’t see
I gotta pistol in my pretty pocket
You’ll never ever know when one and one is three

There’s an electron in my socket
There’s a demon in my cradle, you see
You can’t console me, you can’t control me
Christina Perfect is Cristi McViegh

There’s a blister in my sun and I think I’ve won.
There’s a blister in my sun and I think I’ve won.

I have a twitch like Lilo and Stitch
I’m not a man. I am Devo.
Peter Buck is such a fuck.
Wish I was born in O-Hi-O

There’s a blister in my sun and I think I’ve won.
There’s a blister in my sun and I think I’ve won.

Mellow yellow, they never call me
I’m the fellow that you can’t see
I gotta pistol in my pretty pocket
You’ll never ever know when one and one is three

There’s a blister in my sun and I think I’ve won.
There’s a blister in my sun and I think I’ve won

A little chokeacola is my favorite drink
I love to spend my evenings on the bright side of the brink
The pillowcase is scented, the sugar so invented
Such a funny way to keep your nose to the floor

An ounce of you and then I’m done
Just thinking ’bout you baby is half the fun
The way you kick your shoes, I would gladly pay my dues
You’re fizzle and your sweet and you’re so fun to pour

My little chokeacola, my rainy day Dear
Oh how I wish you we’re here
My Soho soul, my pretty pink coal
I don’t need you. You don’t need me.
But how I love how we need we

My little chokeacola has a cocaine stare
A fear of falling and purple hair
I, a taste for plastic, and everything fantastic
When it’s three a.m. I’m William Shakespeare

Let’s take a walk down Mulberry Street
I know it’s March, but I can feel the heat
I’m a mediocre Ford, but I can silence any chord
My cotton may be rotten but my candy is queer

My little chokeacola, my rainy day Dear
Oh how I wish you we’re here
My so whole soul, my pretty pink coal
I don’t need you. You don’t need me.
But how I love how we need we

A little choke-a-cola is my favorite drink
I love to spend my evening on the bright side of the brink …

Celebration of a massacre. The hocus pocus of a downtown blur.
It’s true, it’s true, it’s true, it’s a very funny day.

Spare ribs and a broken car. Why do I sit upon this star?
It’s true, it’s true, it’s true, it’s a very funny day.

Call me a fuse, I don’t mean to fight.
Bury all the bodies by no moon light.
Hope the bark don’t mean no bite.
You can’t get high without a kite.

Wanna tell the world that one is two.
Nobody can know it’s true.
I hate, I loathe, I despise a very funny day.

Wanna join me on this stage? Have to join me in my rage.
I love, I love, I love a very funny day.

Call me a fuse, I don’t mean to fight.
Bury all the bodies by no moon light.
Hope the bark don’t mean no bite.
You can’t get high without a kite.

If I give you 20 dollars would you break my heart right now?
I know you’re gonna do it anyhow
So let’s get it over, over right now
If I give you 20 dollars would you break my heart right now?

If I give you 30 dollars would you do it nice and clean?
It’s taken so much less to be more than mean
So let’s get it over, over right now
If I give you 30 dollars would you do it nice and clean?

If I give you 40 dollars would you buy me a fair-thee-well?
You can go to the mall and I can go to Hell
So let’s get it over, over right now
If I give you 40 dollars would you buy me a fair-thee-well

Well, wait a minute, baby. I only gotta dollar bill
Guess I’m gonna have to wait for me to buy my thrill
We can’t get it over, gonna have to wait
I said I can’t get it over, I’m gonna be late
No we can’t get it over, so how bout a date?

Or, maybe tomorrow, I give you 20 dollars and you break my heart right now?